The baby is asleep.
The husband is asleep.
Even the cat is asleep.
I am left here alone.
Just me, my laptop and my 2nd glass of wine (that I usually never drink).
I just put my big, baby girl to bed. She fell asleep in my arms tonight, which hasn't happened in awhile. She has been pretty good with putting herself to sleep at nighttime and nap time. We're very fortunate. But tonight was out of the normal.
Annaliese has been very cuddly with me lately. Oh believe me, I am soaking it up. Every last minute. I think she is unconsciously grasping the fact that her mother is in need of these voluntary moments, as she knows there will soon come a day when those cuddles will be too few and far between.
You see, there are exactly 34 days left until she turns one year old. Only 34 days! (and less by the time you're reading this) It seems that the year has just up and vanished into thin air.
But tonight was another night where time stood still.
Just a mother and her daughter rocking in silence.
A mother who has learned a lot about herself in the last 11 months. A mother who has seen herself on her strongest days where she felt on top of her game. A mother who has seen herself through her weakest moments and spent hours crying along side her crying baby. A mother who has previously promised herself, but has recently taken action to become healthier and live healthier for the sake of herself and her child.
And here in my arms, rests my dreams, my values, my future, all in this little body that keeps growing day by day. My shirt covered in spaghetti stains, my hair a mess, my feet swollen and sore from running, my legs unshaven, I think I forgot deodorant again today...and yet I'm perfectly content because I am blessed.
I have been a little stressed out this week because of the stupid little things that get you all worked up. The basement being flooded (for the 100th time), the washer being broken (after just months ago the dryer had broken), the finances wearing thin (due to a certain special someone's first birthday party), the physical pain of actually working out (from being so out of shape), and the tired eyes I meet at the end of every day from my husband (and his very stressful "seeing-computer-code-in-his-sleep" job).
But this moment is mine. Right now. Right in this very moment, none of that matters. All of the stress in the world couldn't take away the peace I have has with my sleeping babe in my arms. This very moment I will treasure forever. This moment brings tears to my eyes because I am still in awe of this beautiful little life that I am blessed to be home with every day and make laugh and watch grow. This beautiful gift from God. Every day I wish my Father-In-Law were here to see this little girl grow, but I know he is shining down on his only grandchild and giving her a different reason to smile.
Wiping the soft tears from my weary eyes, this mother stands up, ensures that she will not wake her soundly sleeping daughter, and I gently place her in a crib with a beautiful matching crib set fit for a darling baby girl. It seems only yesterday, Justin and I were finishing up our baby registry and wondering what it would feel like to be a parent. Now there she lays, in the butterfly crib set we picked and were given for a shower gift from Justin's brother, Ashley and his wife, Jenn, in the espresso crib we bought and put together, in the pajamas that were handed down to us from one of my best friends from when her daughter was much younger, and beside her security blanket/teddy bear that my aunt and uncle had bought her for Christmas.
I turn off the light and say a silent prayer and ask God to watch over my sleeping baby, as I do every night. I also ask Him to give me the motherly strength I need to make it through every day, to remember to wake up with a positive outlook every morning and remember that there are so many others who are less fortunate and living in undeserving broken and battered homes.
I am blessed.
Linking up with Alison @ Writing, Wishing and Galit @ These Little Waves for September's Memories Captured.